I’ve been trying to generate some energy for writing, so I’ve been reading more and writing a few reviews. Here’s one I thought I’d share, not just for the unapologetic double entendre of it’s title, but its cover art and overall positivity:
DRY HUMPING A Guide to Dating, Relating, and Hooking Up Without the Booze
“If you don’t think this title applies to you, read it anyway. Judge it by its cover; bright, humorous, and contemporary. You won’t be disappointed.
Strict parents, a career where drug and alcohol testing were routine, and a decade of graduate school limited my partying to one or two wine coolers on the weekend (Boomer here!) I never tasted a decent bottle of wine until my 40’s. Then came the failure of a marriage and long term elder care, managing stress and disappointment with alcohol.
I am not sober, but sober curious and mindful of booze’s slippery slope during challenging times. I was given an advance copy of “Dry Humping” and quickly realized it did apply to me. It was like taking a long, relaxing walk with a friend. Tawny Lara writes from experience and thorough research, offering options for finding and sustaining relationships (with yourself and others) without alcohol.
This is not a “shame on you for drinking book.” It is a “yeah, I get it book” with wonderful interviews, stories, humor and tips for relationships at any age.
Alcohol has a significant impact on our culture. Tawny’s book is helpfully structured, can be read in one sitting or as needed for contemplation and practice, and is full of reminders there are alternatives to leaning on alcohol. Sobriety is becoming the “cool norm” thanks to writers like Tawny Lara and this is great guidebook.”
ARTISTIC PENSION 
That sounds like an interesting book. I’ve never been a heavy drinker (ok, there might have been some overindulging every now and then in my younger years), but over the last year or two I’ve cut my several times a week glass of wine while cooking down to a drink with friends now and then. Fortunately, most of the people we hang with are the same.
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That glass of wine while cooking is a tough habit to break, at least I don’t do all the cooking! Good for you Janis!
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I have had a few debates regarding drinking alcohol with a few female friends. I no longer drink which is what I choose to do not that I had a problem with it I prefer to keep what brain cells I have left to navigate myself through the later years. I lost count the amount of times I was asked repeatingly if I wanted a drink. A strong NO didn’t seem to register with some.
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Hi Suzanne, protecting our brain function is an excellent reason for quitting or cutting back. These questions aren’t very supportive of that decision. It’s also no body’s business. Do they ask you if you’re sure you don’t want a bacon cheese burger instead of a nice salad for your meal?! Seriously, I hope this gets reconciled. Thanks for the comment. Tracey
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Hi Tracey, well your comment regarding the cheeseburger made me laugh. It was years ago and the socializing we do now is mainly centered around playing sports so the question doesn’t get asked.
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Hi Tracey, I didn’t drink at all (seriously) until my late twenties and then it was just an occasional wine spritzer because I had no idea how to order a drink. It was not a part of my culture while growing up. My taste for wine was cultivated later after I married Malcolm and we developed a knack for cooking and entertaining friends together. Even then, I only drank when we were entertaining friends. Our daughter can only recall seeing us drink while on vacation. Sooooo. what happened?
Retirement happened. We had more time on our hands, a wide circle of friends in the same situation, and no place to be in the morning. These days we drink (moderately by most standards) but we still take a hiatus several times per year, just to remind ourselves that wine is a pleasure, not a habit.
I love books like this that prompt a reflective moment, whatever the subject matter. Thanks for sharing your review.
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Suzanne, Thanks for commenting. I don’t remember my parents drinking at all until I was a teen ager. My Mom never drank, and my Dad did after work. Maybe it was the stress of that one job, maybe it was because he had two teenagers (or both!). Everyone has a different relationship with alcohol and I liked this book because it doesn’t have a one size fits all approach. Same here, my taste for good wine was cultivated with my second marriage. We’ve enjoyed some nice wine tasting trips and I don’t want to give that up. But I find it very hard to tolerate any type of cocktail as I get older. Plus, the less alcohol, the better the sleep! Tracey
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I don’t date anymore but if I did, I’d be interested in this book. I also don’t drink much anymore. Not for any other reason but that it wrecks my sleep if I have more than 1 drink or if I have a drink after dinner. I guess that makes me a day-drinker now 😉. Drinking is so prevalent in our culture though…I’ve been “dry” for long periods of time in my life, and the pressure to drink from others was sometimes intense. This book sounds like it would be helpful for those wanting to stop or re-evaluate their drinking habits.
Deb
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Deb, I hear you on the sleep impact. I used to chuckle when they served Happy Hour at 3:30 pm at my Mom’s senior living home. I think they knew exactly what they were doing. You’re right, pressure from others to have a drink can be down right out of line. The book does talk about how to reactive to non-supportive behavior, which I think is very helpful for people who want to quit or cut back. Dating is also stressful, so kudos to you for living your own life! Tracey
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The title of the blog drew me in ~~~ not an expression I had ever heard! My dad was an alcoholic so I have, other than the 3 years of nursing school, kept my drinking under control. I usually have 2 beer a week and nothing else. Like Deb above it kills my sleep with hot flashes (which is why I am writing and reading at 3 am) and I often wonder if it is worth it. Bernie
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You’re not alone regarding the expression. I think it’s a US and/ or generational expression. I was familiar with it and thought it was clever. Thanks for commenting!
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